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About Deviant Artist m-richelieuFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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Literature
Chocolate and Vanilla Buttercream Frostings
Easy and Simple Buttercream Frosting
In all honesty, since I've had to change the way I eat, I either seriously crave sugar until I'm sick, or can't wait to rinse the taste out of my mouth. (That could be because without a wheat high, I crave a sugar high and overdo it to the point I'm sick.) Still learning. I do enjoy sweets, though they tend to be natural sources more and more. So, these frostings aren't overly sweet and I usually halve the recipe. These are my 'It can frost a cake or so' whole recipes. Buttercream for me, should not have shortening, even vanilla. Yes, the color is crisper, yes, it is stiffer and the lines are cleaner. I just don't like shortening. I try to avoid it. Also, no salt in these recipes. You can use 1 tablespoon vanilla extract to 3 tablespoons milk or cream. I like milk, 2% is good. Cream just ends out with a nice texture.
Now, let's party!
Chocolate Buttercream
3ish, maybe 3 1/2 cups
Ingredients
1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks or ½ pound), softene
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Literature
Turn the light on
Turn the light on
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
Turn the light on
A stranger thinking aloud
In a language no one can understand
Pick me up and hose me down
Left alone on the shores of a dark land
Turn the light on
Destroy all the shadows
Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Turn the light on
Burn all the shadows until there’s nowhere to run
Burn away all the shadows
Show what’s going on below
Buzzing between my ears—
Can’t keep living on thought control
Listening to the pumping of machines
Wide eyes open still unable to see
Hearing words but not a single meaning
Rest my heart’s desperate beat
Ramming hard against my bones
Keep them from nipping my feet
Burn away all the shadows
Kisses still linger
From nights long buried
Things I can’t forget
That dig their claws into me
That was what I get for wishing
Branches dancing in the wind
And in truth, I’ll never be dirt-free
Shadows festering within
Turn the light on
Shining it brighter than t
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Literature
Second-hand Smoke
Second-hand smoke
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
You are second-hand smoke.
Effervescent rivulets of grey,
you fade and twist in my veins.
These feelings you provoke—
I wouldn’t change a thing.
You brought me to life.
With one kiss, you saved me
when I certainly thought I’d died.
You’re moist air in my lungs
when I can’t take another drink.
I’ve been desperate to change.
To find the truth I left to find.
I’m living to find a smile.
There’s nothing left in the world
that can change my mind.
No one can change how I feel.
I’ve let go of all the things
I clutched to so desperately.
Just to make room for you.
Just a moment with you is all I need.
For a second, be all I want.
I don’t know how long the sun will set.
Don’t know if it will ever rise again.
Nothing left to lose,
Nothing left to find.
There’s no one left in town I know.
Now’s the time.
Tell me what you think of me.
I’m lucky. I’m strong. I
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Literature
In the high desert
In the high desert
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
I see you sitting there
in your dark, matte jacket
and your black top.
Your faded Levis have three drops of yellow dill seed
Strewn in a little patch
We can't wipe it, it's dry, it won't budge
I love you more when I look at you.
So much so my eyes leak rust.
But you can't see them.
I can't cry freely.
But tempered, simply gilded.
I know it could be a year.
Or two.
A few weeks.
A month.
It could be tomorrow—
Then I'll never see you again.
I don't think
Someone like me
Could ever go to that place with you.
But maybe…
Yes, the sky is blue
The same blue as your faded Fox
With it's shiny chrome
And dusty glass
And the sky at the horizon
It's like
Like the water from the hose
With its crumpled bones
Little and rocky
It's a jet!
Like a pinprick
It's leaving behind two smoky trails in the sky
And they fade
Like the smoke…
Like the smoke from the old barbeque on its wobbly three legs
Can you see it?
Was I good enough?
I remember desert sunsets here
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Literature
Shatter
Shatter
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
I want to look you straight in the eye,
but I'm afraid you'll see right through me.
I gathered them all, and then checked twice
and found some more that I almost ignored.
Painful, lonely things that they are:
I save them in a see-through box with a see-through lock.
I caress these lonely feelings.
They need someone to care for them.
I wish you could be the one to do this.
But you could reach in and break them.
Until they never return to their original shape.
Little, precious things in a locked box.
I've hidden them so deeply,
that no one can take them and hold them to light.
I want to be nice to you.
But I'm afraid that's what's hindering me.
The wind is blowing in from the sea.
And to the bone, it chills me.
I don't think you have any idea—
Of these things I've kept hidden away.
But the time I've spent with you,
I'll never forget those nights.
I want to see you more.
I want to talk to you.
I want to know and understand.
To know the sum of your p
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Literature
To Sir, with love.
To Sir, with love.
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
I never wanted to hold your hand.
I only wanted to see who your were.
To meet you in a quiet place,
where the both of us could speak—
Softly, in a whisper.
I never meant to make you mad.
To make you feel used.
It was never like that.
Since then, I just want to be next to you.
I felt your hot breath on me.
Damp, and so inviting.
I just wanted to see
what you would do to me.
You are second-hand smoke.
You are the scent before the rain.
You've become the blood in my veins.
To hold you close—
It could destroy you.
And by my own hand,
I'll watch you torn away.
I picked up the scraps.
Something that made me feel better again.
Tearing it apart,
I barely managed to make it through.
I understood it was wrong.
To want happiness I could never have.
To wait for your next visit.
I wanted no one but you.
You are the scent before the rain.
Like tall grass and some foreign flower.
The skin stretched tightly over your bones.
So calm in your repose
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Mature content
Between us friends :iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 2 13
Literature
Flicker
Flicker
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
The rain tumbles through murky clouds.
In a rhythm that only I can hear,
each blurry drop bounces off the leaves,
before rapping against the hazy glass.
In my dark, cold home,
empty cups gather dust.
Here in this room candles flicker.
In a faintly, fading, tiny whisper.
I never thought I would have much to look forward to in life.
I was used to waking up alone and eating on my own.
I could not believe that I would ever have something to lose.
Now, I find it so hard to keep to myself.
It's a long walk, wherever I go.
You once were here, so much so,
that I could forget that I am alone.
I cannot accept this.
But I can't say that I'm surprised,
This happens to me all the time.
Wherever you are, whatever you're doing,
I'm still here with this message for you:
"I did love you"—No. I still love you.
What happened to all the gestures of your heart,
your warm touch and embracing stare?
I am left with no way to see your face.
But I can't say that I'm surpr
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Mature content
Explicit-Frombeneaththecove :iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 4 4
Literature
We are
We Are
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
I struggle with being strong.
Still, I try so hard.
Please forgive my weakness
and my tenderness,
when all you need is someone to rely on.
I'm sorry for all the things you have to go through.
I wish I could wipe them all away,
to make the world the place you need it to be.
But someone as small as me can't do that.
I wish you were here. You're the smarter one.
There are times I don't understand what's going on.
I'm frightened, scared and glued to the spot.
My boots and knees are knocking,
try as hard as I might to keep my voice from wavering,
to keep my cheeks dry.
I have to be strong,
so I can wipe away your tears.
I don't want you to worry.
But sometimes I don't think
that you love me as much as I love you.
Shame on me for thinking that, I know.
Please forgive me my weakness.
Forgive my lapse in faith.
Please, let me do my best for you.
I'll try, I'll try. I'll try my hardest, it's true.
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:iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 2 5
Yellowstone - Group B.I by m-richelieu Yellowstone - Group B.I :iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 1 2
Literature
Carried Away
Carried Away
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
I can't go home.
The lights are out
and the blinds are drawn.
I'm not welcome there anymore.
I paid the price.
Let me hold onto you:
the last thing holding me to Earth.
I'm losing my breath,
so let me breathe you in.
Don't let me down.
If you want to break me in,
hold me close and closer
and let me breathe you in.
Then promise not to let me fall.
Be there when my breath is taken away.
We're young and not that wise,
but we're wise enough for now.
Let me press up against you
and speak without a single thought.
It's dark and no one's listening.
Hold me close and closer:
A little more and I'll get carried away.
Take a deep breath and let it out.
Hold me gently.
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Literature
White
White
by Merrique Lynn Richelieu
I have considered
freezing my heart and waiting
until spring comes again.
I have thought
of holding you close,
locking you away.
But with you in my arms,
I looked at the sky
and looked up
into the moon's soft light.
And I kissed you—
and opened my eyes.
I looked up at the moon
and said, to myself more than you,
"I can't look at the moon anymore"
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:iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 1 0
Yellowstone - Group Book II by m-richelieu Yellowstone - Group Book II :iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 1 0 Yellowstone - Laurent's Boys by m-richelieu Yellowstone - Laurent's Boys :iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 2 0 Yellowstone - Felix Jones by m-richelieu Yellowstone - Felix Jones :iconm-richelieu:m-richelieu 1 0

Favourites

Five Nights At Treasure Island DEMO by AnArt1996 Five Nights At Treasure Island DEMO :iconanart1996:AnArt1996 954 895
Literature
Hobo Heart
Homicide Report-
Detective McMahon
Badge number : 1025
August 26, 2014
11:34 p.m.
544 NW Tarrant St.
One deceased female age 26 Large entry wound to chest. Heart removed.
"Hey Jason what we got this time?"
"Yeah it's another one." the CSI officer said shaking his head "Same M.O. chest crushed ripped open heart removed. Human heart from previous deceased present at scene."
"How many does this make?" the detective asked
"Are we counting the one at the lake?" Jason inquired.
" No not yet anyway." replied Detective McMahon
"Five then, but there's no way we can deny they are at least connected." Jason said to the detective squinting his eyes.
"Yeah I hear ya, but there was no heart present. It's his calling card there's no way he'd leave out that little detail. This guys sick it's his ritual. They may be connected, but it may be a copy cat. I'm not giving him the credit till I'm sure." The detective pulled out his lucky zippo rubbed it with his finger as he examined the apple engraving on i
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Love Hina - Epilogue - Part 5 by Dr-Black-Jack
Mature content
Love Hina - Epilogue - Part 5 :icondr-black-jack:Dr-Black-Jack 128 11
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Journal
You're Not Alone



“Sometimes we lay aside our own troubles when we wipe away another's tears.”
—Seneca
By techgnotic
Apart...
Is no longer alone
T
his life is not easy; a winding, sometimes whimsical, sometimes tragic journey that ultimately finds terminus in the same common destination for each of us. No matter the brave, fierce constructs we build and serve that would have us believe we are each one of us all alone as we make this journey, we make our way toward the end of all things side-by-side in our community of the living each day defying death.  Our paths may be wildly divergent—the way of the hungry and impoverished traveling the same timeline with the grotesquely indulgent, the very best of us side-by-side with the most evil of us; but all headed for the same fate: dust. Ever
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:icontechgnotic:techgnotic 6,099 3,511
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Mature content
Paranoia Tale 003: Silence :icondr-black-jack:Dr-Black-Jack 52 13

Wishlist

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Loving the weather. I can't help but love rainy days and Mondays. Especially now that the rain is so lively. It's tumbling through the dark clouds, dark enough that I can see with clarity without having to wear sunglasses. Sometimes, a lot of times, the light reflects off the clouds making it feel even brighter. I sometimes feel like I stick out even more because I'm the only one wearing sunglasses on a cloudy or rainy day. But days like this, when the clouds are just dense and murky enough I can go out and run and jump and play and not worry about losing my specs. The rhythm is a staccato. The leaves are jumping and swaying joyously in the little gusts and I can't help but feel a bit happy even though I can barely see out the glass.

Still writing my novel, the first book is done. I'm proud. Wish Sand was more involved and we could write the second together. The second has almost 400 pages pre-edit and I haven't even gotten to where I feel is the "end" of the book. I'm doing a lot of dialogue and setting up of characters and relationships because soon that's going to be overshadowed by the "antagonistic forces" coming from all sides. I'm always making relationships and friendships important in my work. It gives a character a reason to act one way or another. To have this qualm, make this mistake and try to fix it after A, B, C and D occur. I haven't heard from her for a while but I've been sick and tired and coping with a lot so I should check my messages. I'll hopefully find one from her. Sandra's second book is long out. The Secret World of Magic picks up right where the first left off. I'm a fan of Thal and Emma. They are so cute. I love how they get closer in the book. Thal sucks at making name. He's not very imaginative, but it's part of his charm too.

My health is improving for the most part. I was helped along by a great friend who brought up food allergies and that perhaps I could try to eliminate something to see how my body reacted. First on the list was gluten. It's hard, because a lot of times I don't have enough money to eat (need more work). I have to go hungry surrounded by all these tasty breads. But being a wee peckish is better than blowing chunks, coughing up blood, being sick and tired and weak. I still can't build any more muscle but I do have more definition and I am stronger. It seems I'm one of those people that's not going to have like awesome musculature (not that I want it. I just look and wonder what I would be like if I could have more muscle. It's strong, stringy muscles for me. I look more feminine anyway. Bonus!

I haven't felt this great ever. I lost, gosh, over 40 pounds! I'm still chubby but I can do so much more. My weight has been fairly stable for over a year now. I think I want to lost more weight and I love two pounds this month so that's my clue to go forward with it. I eat as much as I want and I find I'm not as tired and fatigued. I've always been sickly since I was 11, and that's not going to change. But I can do things to stay healthier for a long time, to mitigate that chance of relapse, save my eyes and hold on long as I can. I feel better. I might never be 100%. But I sure can get close. 

It still makes me sad that I only wanted to be a pilot and to be sick. I say that I'm following the romantic, traditional motif of the sickly writer/artist who wants so much more than this. Even though I'm still not sure what I want. You want something from the time you're a little girl, get told all your life to give up because it's not happening, take up something (for me it was always art and wanting to fly) and being told that's stupid too, then realizing you can have your dream! Only to have it taken away it a single second. My accident was life altering and heart shattering. It hurt a lot more than not being able to walk. There was a lot to it. It's mostly a healed wound, I just try to not pick at it or dig into it.

I've had other things happen. I was lucky to have counseling when my grandmother did because my councilor helped me cope better and finally acknowledge that there was abuse in my childhood. And again when my abuser was reintroduced in my adulthood. This time with help! Nothing says betrayal like coming to on the floor, staring up at someone whom you love, just staring at you in disgust and malice while everything keeps going dark. I've been in fights before, but nothing hurt like that. It's hard to get over something like that. It's always in the back of my mind when I look at this person. I still have nightmares about it. And then to see another one of the players from stage return after two years, I froze up, kept looking at him. I felt the bond I'd had with this man since I could remember was broken. Nothing like abuse to fuck you up.

It was physical and metal. Try as I did to stay quiet, rarely be seen, not be heard, living outside in a tent, it wasn't enough. I still got my head beat and my memory is still fuzzy in some spots. Remembering some things seems impossible, like I can almost reach it, it's right there. I almost have it and it's gone. I do memory exercises and that's helped. But once in a while I start to panic because "I should freakin' know that!" 

A lot of things are still fuzzy. I still have nightmares, but I'm more in control now. I have more faith in myself that I can take on this monster. Time and time again if I need to. I still have fears where I can almost remember what happened, the feel of it on the back of my neck, but I can't remember. I talk with a good friend about these things. He's very understanding and he said something I was afraid to say aloud: That if I did remember these things, that I could lose my tenacious grip on reality. I'm well adjusted, I've done all those little personality tests and disposition tests and I found out I'm rather boring and in balance. I'm proud of that.

I take painting classes. They do a lot to soothe me. I'm training my memory, doing something I never could and wanted to desperately, and cheating up my art skills! I have painting, real paintings and people want to buy them! Yet, I can't bear to let them go. I should find my camera again so I can upload a few pictures so you all can see what I've been up to.

So, why am I writing a such a personal entry when I haven't done just this in years? I think I should explain my absence and my wish to let go of fan fictions and submerse I don't want to leave them unfinished though. It's, it's just been rough. I realized a few weeks ago when someone close to me died in a motorcycle accident. All arrows point to someone crashing into him, breaking every bone in his body and him, with broken hands, probably unable to let go in time to avoid running into a seven foot wide wall in the middle of a field. The police are still investigating. And I feel an irrevocable sadness for his death and the fact I couldn't be there to see him buried. I just, to be in the same building sent me into a panic. I couldn't breathe and I was so very, very afraid. It's colored my life since then. I keep looking for things to smile about and I find them. I try to live in that happy moment and I hold the memory because it can make me happy when things get rough.

I started gardening again. This time I have sunflowers. And tomatoes. The sunflowers started late but are still going strong. I love sunflowers. They always made me feel more peaceful, like everything was going to be okay. And it will be. It will be.

I spend more time with my friends because I shut down for a long time. I'm happier for it. Even though were busy, we meet up once in a while and just laugh and be silly and things are better than when we first met!

I've put out a few poems in the last couple of years. Flicker and Shatter are my favorites. I adore Second-hand Smoke. And turn the light on took from June of this year to it's publication to write. I can't say I hate any of my recent work. I worked it best I could and I like what I made. It's no fan fiction. It won't garner tons of favorites and comments, but I love my work. I do. I love writing. I want to write things that make my feel good and happy. I wanted to change, and I'm changing. I feel stronger some days, even though fear can still paralyze me. I take a deep breath, hold on tight and I try my best.

And, here is the poem to start a whole new body of work, and hopefully to exhuming the old:


Turn the light on
By Merrique Lynn Richelieu

Turn the light on

A stranger thinking aloud
In a language no one can understand
Pick me up and hose me down
Left alone on the shores of a dark land

Turn the light on

Destroy all the shadows
Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Turn the light on
Burn all the shadows until there's nowhere to run

Burn away all the shadows
Show what's going on below

Buzzing between my ears—
Leftover from another abandoned experiment
Turned over from a lost life
A welt so deep I can never let another in

Can't keep living on thought control
Listening to the pumping of machines
Wide eyes open still unable to see
Hearing words but not a single meaning

Rest my heart's desperate beat
Ramming hard against my bones
Keep them from nipping my feet
Burn away all the shadows

Kisses still linger
From nights long buried
Things I can't forget
That dig their claws into me

That was what I get for wishing
Branches dancing in the wind
And in truth, I'll never be dirt-free
Shadows festering within

Turn the light on
Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Turn the light on
Burn all the shadows until there's nowhere to run

A heart that glowed like a lightning bolt
Take it from its box locked up tight
It was enough to make me not go
Hold the taboo up to the light

With nothing left to hold
I should just let you go

You left me alone in this town
Condemned to navigate starless skies and rotten inns
A stranger doomed to think out loud
Beside creatures looking through me with their bony grins

Rest my heart's desperate beat
Ramming hard against my bones
Keep them from nipping my feet
Burn away all the shadows

Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Burn out my eyes until there's nothing left
Burn all the shadows until there's nowhere to run
Burn the light so bright that I can finally see

  • Listening to: Deadmau5 - Professional Griefers
  • Reading: Not reading, WRITING!
  • Watching: Trick 'r Treat
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: Baked gingerbread skeletons
  • Drinking: Stars and Stripes Diet Cola

deviantID

m-richelieu

Artist
United States
Current Residence: California
deviantWEAR sizing preference: a medium fits well.
Print preference: Large for my barren wall
Favourite genre of music: Electronica, rock, all kinds really. I'm a sucker for anthems
Favourite photographer: Keitaro-K
Favourite style of art: traditional and writing
Operating System: lap top
MP3 player of choice: It's Chinese bootleg~
Shell of choice: whadda? you confuse-a me with all your fancy jargon
Wallpaper of choice: Sunflowers
Favourite cartoon character: I rarely dislike characters
Personal Quote: If you touch my laptop, I will shove something hard and sandpapery up your ass.
Interests

Comments


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:icontooloftheday:
ToolOfTheDay Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the watch!!! Smiling Pug 
Reply
:iconwhite-dragon-freya:
white-dragon-freya Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
thanks for the watch ^^
Reply
:iconquitscheenteofdoom:
QuitscheenteOfDoom Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Joho^^ Thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconsilver-kitsuneneko:
Silver-KitsuneNeko Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014

I’m sorry it’s late but thank you for the watch! :icondragonglomp: 

Reply
:icondoubleox515:
doubleox515 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Mate, thank you so much for the watch!~ It's much appreciated :heart::tighthug:~
Reply
:iconravens-of-rome:
Ravens-of-Rome Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the +Watch! :D
Reply
:iconyandarl:
YandaRL Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch~!:iconfoxyayzplz:
I'm really late...Sorry! :iconfoxsobplz:
Reply
:iconhybrid-empress:
HYBRiD-eMPReSS Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there, just wanted to let you know, I got your note, and I'm still reading it xD Haven't had a lot of time to finish it lately, but I'm reading it, and I should be finished and reply sometime soon ^o^ I just hate leaving people uncertain so I decided to let you know X3
~Rose
Reply
:iconm-richelieu:
m-richelieu Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013
It's groovy. I know it was long but fair is fair and people should have the facts for a commission to be fair. I've been at the hospital with my dad for almost... a week? Time's been wonky for me. It's been like, I don't know, the fifth or sixth time he's had to be admitted in the last three weeks. I've been hopeful yeah, but if you had replied, I might have been the one to leave you hanging. So, it's all good in the end.
Reply
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