m-richelieu
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After about a year or two, an update.
10 min read
Loving the weather. I can't help but love rainy days and Mondays. Especially now that the rain is so lively. It's tumbling through the dark clouds, dark enough that I can see with clarity without having to wear sunglasses. Sometimes, a lot of times, the light reflects off the clouds making it feel even brighter. I sometimes feel like I stick out even more because I'm the only one wearing sunglasses on a cloudy or rainy day. But days like this, when the clouds are just dense and murky enough I can go out and run and jump and play and not worry about losing my specs. The rhythm is a staccato. The leaves are jumping and swaying joyously in the little gusts and I can't help but feel a bit happy even though I can barely see out the glass.
My health is improving for the most part. I was helped along by a great friend who brought up food allergies and that perhaps I could try to eliminate something to see how my body reacted. First on the list was gluten. It's hard, because a lot of times I don't have enough money to eat (need more work). I have to go hungry surrounded by all these tasty breads. But being a wee peckish is better than blowing chunks, coughing up blood, being sick and tired and weak. I still can't build any more muscle but I do have more definition and I am stronger. It seems I'm one of those people that's not going to have like awesome musculature (not that I want it. I just look and wonder what I would be like if I could have more muscle. It's strong, stringy muscles for me. I look more feminine anyway. Bonus!
I haven't felt this great ever. I lost, gosh, over 40 pounds! I'm still chubby but I can do so much more. My weight has been fairly stable for over a year now. I think I want to lost more weight and I love two pounds this month so that's my clue to go forward with it. I eat as much as I want and I find I'm not as tired and fatigued. I've always been sickly since I was 11, and that's not going to change. But I can do things to stay healthier for a long time, to mitigate that chance of relapse, save my eyes and hold on long as I can. I feel better. I might never be 100%. But I sure can get close.
It still makes me sad that I only wanted to be a pilot and to be sick. I say that I'm following the romantic, traditional motif of the sickly writer/artist who wants so much more than this. Even though I'm still not sure what I want. You want something from the time you're a little girl, get told all your life to give up because it's not happening, take up something (for me it was always art and wanting to fly) and being told that's stupid too, then realizing you can have your dream! Only to have it taken away it a single second. My accident was life altering and heart shattering. It hurt a lot more than not being able to walk. There was a lot to it. It's mostly a healed wound, I just try to not pick at it or dig into it.
I've had other things happen. I was lucky to have counseling when my grandmother did because my councilor helped me cope better and finally acknowledge that there was abuse in my childhood. And again when my abuser was reintroduced in my adulthood. This time with help! Nothing says betrayal like coming to on the floor, staring up at someone whom you love, just staring at you in disgust and malice while everything keeps going dark. I've been in fights before, but nothing hurt like that. It's hard to get over something like that. It's always in the back of my mind when I look at this person. I still have nightmares about it. And then to see another one of the players from stage return after two years, I froze up, kept looking at him. I felt the bond I'd had with this man since I could remember was broken. Nothing like abuse to fuck you up.
It was physical and metal. Try as I did to stay quiet, rarely be seen, not be heard, living outside in a tent, it wasn't enough. I still got my head beat and my memory is still fuzzy in some spots. Remembering some things seems impossible, like I can almost reach it, it's right there. I almost have it and it's gone. I do memory exercises and that's helped. But once in a while I start to panic because "I should freakin' know that!"
A lot of things are still fuzzy. I still have nightmares, but I'm more in control now. I have more faith in myself that I can take on this monster. Time and time again if I need to. I still have fears where I can almost remember what happened, the feel of it on the back of my neck, but I can't remember. I talk with a good friend about these things. He's very understanding and he said something I was afraid to say aloud: That if I did remember these things, that I could lose my tenacious grip on reality. I'm well adjusted, I've done all those little personality tests and disposition tests and I found out I'm rather boring and in balance. I'm proud of that.
I take painting classes. They do a lot to soothe me. I'm training my memory, doing something I never could and wanted to desperately, and cheating up my art skills! I have painting, real paintings and people want to buy them! Yet, I can't bear to let them go. I should find my camera again so I can upload a few pictures so you all can see what I've been up to.
So, why am I writing a such a personal entry when I haven't done just this in years? I think I should explain my absence and my wish to let go of fan fictions and submerse I don't want to leave them unfinished though. It's, it's just been rough. I realized a few weeks ago when someone close to me died in a motorcycle accident. All arrows point to someone crashing into him, breaking every bone in his body and him, with broken hands, probably unable to let go in time to avoid running into a seven foot wide wall in the middle of a field. The police are still investigating. And I feel an irrevocable sadness for his death and the fact I couldn't be there to see him buried. I just, to be in the same building sent me into a panic. I couldn't breathe and I was so very, very afraid. It's colored my life since then. I keep looking for things to smile about and I find them. I try to live in that happy moment and I hold the memory because it can make me happy when things get rough.
I started gardening again. This time I have sunflowers. And tomatoes. The sunflowers started late but are still going strong. I love sunflowers. They always made me feel more peaceful, like everything was going to be okay. And it will be. It will be.
I spend more time with my friends because I shut down for a long time. I'm happier for it. Even though were busy, we meet up once in a while and just laugh and be silly and things are better than when we first met!
I've put out a few poems in the last couple of years. Flicker and Shatter are my favorites. I adore Second-hand Smoke. And turn the light on took from June of this year to it's publication to write. I can't say I hate any of my recent work. I worked it best I could and I like what I made. It's no fan fiction. It won't garner tons of favorites and comments, but I love my work. I do. I love writing. I want to write things that make my feel good and happy. I wanted to change, and I'm changing. I feel stronger some days, even though fear can still paralyze me. I take a deep breath, hold on tight and I try my best.
And, here is the poem to start a whole new body of work, and hopefully to exhuming the old:
Turn the light on
By Merrique Lynn Richelieu
Turn the light on
A stranger thinking aloud
In a language no one can understand
Pick me up and hose me down
Left alone on the shores of a dark land
Turn the light on
Destroy all the shadows
Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Turn the light on
Burn all the shadows until there's nowhere to run
Burn away all the shadows
Show what's going on below
Buzzing between my ears—
Leftover from another abandoned experiment
Turned over from a lost life
A welt so deep I can never let another in
Can't keep living on thought control
Listening to the pumping of machines
Wide eyes open still unable to see
Hearing words but not a single meaning
Rest my heart's desperate beat
Ramming hard against my bones
Keep them from nipping my feet
Burn away all the shadows
Kisses still linger
From nights long buried
Things I can't forget
That dig their claws into me
That was what I get for wishing
Branches dancing in the wind
And in truth, I'll never be dirt-free
Shadows festering within
Turn the light on
Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Turn the light on
Burn all the shadows until there's nowhere to run
A heart that glowed like a lightning bolt
Take it from its box locked up tight
It was enough to make me not go
Hold the taboo up to the light
With nothing left to hold
I should just let you go
You left me alone in this town
Condemned to navigate starless skies and rotten inns
A stranger doomed to think out loud
Beside creatures looking through me with their bony grins
Rest my heart's desperate beat
Ramming hard against my bones
Keep them from nipping my feet
Burn away all the shadows
Shining it brighter than the surface of the sun
Burn out my eyes until there's nothing left
Burn all the shadows until there's nowhere to run
Burn the light so bright that I can finally see
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Memory Days Sim Date
5 min read
Gosh, I don't have enough time. Trying to find ways to scratch out a living is hard work, kids. I'm pretty bummed. I was suppose to see a lot of someone (finally) since he moved away. I got lonely without him. I think I made a horrible mistake. But sometimes I don't. It's complicated. He has to work a lot during summer, so we haven't seen a lot of each other. Hopefully that changes before we run out of time.
Still, I'm playing this sim date. Gotta get some action somewhere, huh?
It's by Pacthesis. It's called "Memory Days." Here's the link: games.mochiads.com/c/g/memory-…
Not a lot of people seem to be posting cheats or walk-throughs. Since I've been playing last night, I've scored three different endings. I didn't write notes for the first two specifically.
++++++++++SIM HELP GUIDE BEGIN++++++++++
These questions may or may not have a significant impact on the path of your game:
What do you remember about your childhood?
1. Enjoying the outdoors
2. Being surrounded by people I love
3. I don't remember much
What are you afraid of?
1. Things that threaten me
2. The uncertain future
3. Confronting other people
What is important to you?
1. Finding a purpose
2. Being happy
3. The truth
See my answers as 1,2,3 with the first number standing for the first answer to first question, the second number being the answer for the second question, and the third number being the answer to the third question
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CALENDER OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!
I STUDIED until I could no longer to avoid make-up classes over break. I'm thinking next rounds I won't study so much. There are 3 possible endings per character, and one (I'm assuming) that involves you ending up with no one for the 10 possible endings of this game.
Gifts are as you give them. No right, no wrong.
Variable One: Talk to each guy equally.
Buy a gift. On Christmas, make a decision. If you have second thoughts, say "Sorry, I have to go".
CHRISTMAS: Kai is at the library sleeping. Wake him up if you want to become boyfriend/girlfriend. Ignore him otherwise or say "No".
Haru is at the lake. Accept his invitation if you like him. Say "No" to pick someone else.
Daichi is at the park. Make a snowman with him or not.
Now, you've picked a dude. (or said no to all. Be prepared for Spring. You will have moments with ALL of them. I really felt ill for being asked by Kai if I liked him and loved him RIGHT AFTER I got with Daichi my first time playing. Then Haru made me want to cry.) Focusing on one guy (after the Daichi Dilemma), I avoided those "I love you" cutscenes in my second and third rounds.
He is now your boyfriend. For best endings, date him once or more a day. Less and you'll get a less "perfect" ending. Keep talking to the other guys, but avoid their "love" scenes. Be a faithful girlfriend. I was, and Kai stayed in Renton with me and let Xolga go.
My Experience thus far:
I dated Daichi 2-3 times a week. Broke hearts of my two friends and ended up in Ending 4 "It's a promise". That boy's so romantic he makes my teeth hurt. He's very, very sweet. He took me to the beach in North Cigam. 3,1,1 (Aug. 21, 2012)
I dated Kai 2 times a day most days. Some three times. I used my mood cheat to make my energy last. I accidentally broke Daichi's heart because I wasn't careful. The cutscenes with other characters after you avoid the love scenes reinforce your friendship. Fear these not. For my birthday, Kai wanted to take me to a garden. No spoiler on that. I got ending 6 with Kai "Always by my side". 3,1,2 (Aug. 22, 2012)
*Kai just melts my heart. Something about him is just... awesome. Tall, tanned brunettes are just my thing maybe. Plus, he's sweet and awkward. Clumsy but not an oaf. Summer just makes me wanna hug him.*
Third time: I picked Haru for Christmas. I said "No" to building a Snowman with Daichi. I accepted NO possible boyfriend cutscenes in Spring. Haru and I ended up in a long-distance relationship and I carried his diary with me everywhere. He came back saying he had convinced his dad to let him live with Akito in North Cigam so he can see me everyday! (Aw!) This is Ending 2 "Happily Ever After"
I recorded my question answers if they have any affect: 1,3,1 with Haru in mind. And look-see, I got Haru and a great ending. (August 23,2012)
*****************I have suspicions that saying "No" to all for Christmas may affect endings. That, or staying in/going to bed may too. I will update on those suspicions as soon as I can. I have not broken up with any of them. I do not know how this variable affects the outcomes.
CHEAT CODES:
In order EARNED-
dontneeddrugstohavefun = infinite mood
shutupandtakemymoney = infinite money
thethuglifechoseme = infinite energy
I WILL ADD MORE AS I PLAY AND EARN THEM. This is not a walk-through. Consider it a helpful hint guide with notes on how outcomes were earned and ways to get the variables in your favor.
Still, I'm playing this sim date. Gotta get some action somewhere, huh?
It's by Pacthesis. It's called "Memory Days." Here's the link: games.mochiads.com/c/g/memory-…
Not a lot of people seem to be posting cheats or walk-throughs. Since I've been playing last night, I've scored three different endings. I didn't write notes for the first two specifically.
++++++++++SIM HELP GUIDE BEGIN++++++++++
These questions may or may not have a significant impact on the path of your game:
What do you remember about your childhood?
1. Enjoying the outdoors
2. Being surrounded by people I love
3. I don't remember much
What are you afraid of?
1. Things that threaten me
2. The uncertain future
3. Confronting other people
What is important to you?
1. Finding a purpose
2. Being happy
3. The truth
See my answers as 1,2,3 with the first number standing for the first answer to first question, the second number being the answer for the second question, and the third number being the answer to the third question
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CALENDER OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!
I STUDIED until I could no longer to avoid make-up classes over break. I'm thinking next rounds I won't study so much. There are 3 possible endings per character, and one (I'm assuming) that involves you ending up with no one for the 10 possible endings of this game.
Gifts are as you give them. No right, no wrong.
Variable One: Talk to each guy equally.
Buy a gift. On Christmas, make a decision. If you have second thoughts, say "Sorry, I have to go".
CHRISTMAS: Kai is at the library sleeping. Wake him up if you want to become boyfriend/girlfriend. Ignore him otherwise or say "No".
Haru is at the lake. Accept his invitation if you like him. Say "No" to pick someone else.
Daichi is at the park. Make a snowman with him or not.
Now, you've picked a dude. (or said no to all. Be prepared for Spring. You will have moments with ALL of them. I really felt ill for being asked by Kai if I liked him and loved him RIGHT AFTER I got with Daichi my first time playing. Then Haru made me want to cry.) Focusing on one guy (after the Daichi Dilemma), I avoided those "I love you" cutscenes in my second and third rounds.
He is now your boyfriend. For best endings, date him once or more a day. Less and you'll get a less "perfect" ending. Keep talking to the other guys, but avoid their "love" scenes. Be a faithful girlfriend. I was, and Kai stayed in Renton with me and let Xolga go.
My Experience thus far:
I dated Daichi 2-3 times a week. Broke hearts of my two friends and ended up in Ending 4 "It's a promise". That boy's so romantic he makes my teeth hurt. He's very, very sweet. He took me to the beach in North Cigam. 3,1,1 (Aug. 21, 2012)
I dated Kai 2 times a day most days. Some three times. I used my mood cheat to make my energy last. I accidentally broke Daichi's heart because I wasn't careful. The cutscenes with other characters after you avoid the love scenes reinforce your friendship. Fear these not. For my birthday, Kai wanted to take me to a garden. No spoiler on that. I got ending 6 with Kai "Always by my side". 3,1,2 (Aug. 22, 2012)
*Kai just melts my heart. Something about him is just... awesome. Tall, tanned brunettes are just my thing maybe. Plus, he's sweet and awkward. Clumsy but not an oaf. Summer just makes me wanna hug him.*
Third time: I picked Haru for Christmas. I said "No" to building a Snowman with Daichi. I accepted NO possible boyfriend cutscenes in Spring. Haru and I ended up in a long-distance relationship and I carried his diary with me everywhere. He came back saying he had convinced his dad to let him live with Akito in North Cigam so he can see me everyday! (Aw!) This is Ending 2 "Happily Ever After"
I recorded my question answers if they have any affect: 1,3,1 with Haru in mind. And look-see, I got Haru and a great ending. (August 23,2012)
*****************I have suspicions that saying "No" to all for Christmas may affect endings. That, or staying in/going to bed may too. I will update on those suspicions as soon as I can. I have not broken up with any of them. I do not know how this variable affects the outcomes.
CHEAT CODES:
In order EARNED-
dontneeddrugstohavefun = infinite mood
shutupandtakemymoney = infinite money
thethuglifechoseme = infinite energy
I WILL ADD MORE AS I PLAY AND EARN THEM. This is not a walk-through. Consider it a helpful hint guide with notes on how outcomes were earned and ways to get the variables in your favor.
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M-O, M-O-R, M-O-R-I-N-G W-O-O-D!
4 min read
Good Idea: Listening to your teacher and doing your workbook.
Bad Idea: Stalking your teacher while she holds hot coffee.
Hey everybody, hope you're all doing well! The release of "Shatter" went pretty well. No comments or questions, but 50 views on that day and a total of 78 when I checked today. I think it's fantastic. I'm very happy with that poem. I think "To Sir, With Love" needs some major adjustments. I'm not entirely happy with it. I'm looking forward to some fun this summer. My friend who is in Dead Yeller will be coming down more often. They'll be playing locally in a few weeks. I'm super excited for it. I've been listening to "N-th Degree" by Morning Wood. I used to have their posters on my door. I don't think they ever really got popular which is a shame. It seems like they dropped off the face of the Earth.
Today is the Monday fast day. Yesterday I accidentally ate more "grain" product and ended up pretty miserable for the night. My stomach still hurts a bit. Freakin' falafel. It was delicious though. A wee bit too salty. I only mildly regret my decision to eat it. Mediterranean food is so good. I really love their meat. This place we went to yesterday mixes rice into everything. If I ever go again, I have to say no rice at all.
I have some sewing to do today. I'm meeting someone tomorrow for the afternoon. I might tutor today. Semi-busy day. I even cleaned the fridge and freezer. I have to go grocery shopping and buy more Merrique-friendly food. I can't keep eating with the family. Lost a spot of weight, which is exciting. I have to do some more exercises for today.
My love child of a book series is actually coming along. I'm at 282 pages for book two and I'm taking one final look at book one before I pass it along to my greatest critic. I must dazzle and awe him this time! In addition, I think I will collect my poems, edit them and release a book. If you have a list of my "bests" that touched you, please post it here. I have to finish more poems for a book. I need to find a job to pay for publishing. I'm waiting on a call for another interview.
Speaking of books, guess who's cranking out another goodie for us? Sandra Harvey! The lady who brought you a cat with a temper, dragons, an evil twin, a pancake burner, a cute spunky little brother and a girl trying to save the magic of a world she doesn't belong to now graces us with the next installment: The Secret World of Magic.
A preview was included in TSWoD for our enjoyment. Now, I love her book. Not just because she's a pal. It's because it's a good book. It had so much promise as a draft and she's come very far as a writer. She works hard and it shows in her pieces. Therefore, I'll be buying the second book as well. I'm working on some sketches for TSWoD. I have to fix the scanner, but no big. I can't wait to draw Mirth. He was always my favorite. He's not black and white. He's different. Yes, I know he's the bad guy. Nevertheless, the idea of someone looking at his reflection and saying, "It's your fault" to the twin who betrayed him really gets me inside. Imagine that? Seeing the one person you're supposed to be closest to everyday in the mirror. To be reminded of that severed bond and the fact he tried to end you. Mirth is something else. I feel so bad for him. It's hard when family hurts each other. It should never happen. When it does, it's just unforgivable. I could never understand what makes a man lay hands on his own blood to hurt them. To twist people into doing their dirty work for them. I could never imagine the fire behind the wish to stop someone with all your heart before. Before, I could never imagine it. I had never felt it before. Perhaps, that's why I like Mirth so much. Family can still be important to you and you can have those feelings inside you. You can't understand that paradox unless you've been there.
But he's still the bad guy. He is cute though. Such a shame, the cute ones are always warlords.
M out!
Bad Idea: Stalking your teacher while she holds hot coffee.
Hey everybody, hope you're all doing well! The release of "Shatter" went pretty well. No comments or questions, but 50 views on that day and a total of 78 when I checked today. I think it's fantastic. I'm very happy with that poem. I think "To Sir, With Love" needs some major adjustments. I'm not entirely happy with it. I'm looking forward to some fun this summer. My friend who is in Dead Yeller will be coming down more often. They'll be playing locally in a few weeks. I'm super excited for it. I've been listening to "N-th Degree" by Morning Wood. I used to have their posters on my door. I don't think they ever really got popular which is a shame. It seems like they dropped off the face of the Earth.
Today is the Monday fast day. Yesterday I accidentally ate more "grain" product and ended up pretty miserable for the night. My stomach still hurts a bit. Freakin' falafel. It was delicious though. A wee bit too salty. I only mildly regret my decision to eat it. Mediterranean food is so good. I really love their meat. This place we went to yesterday mixes rice into everything. If I ever go again, I have to say no rice at all.
I have some sewing to do today. I'm meeting someone tomorrow for the afternoon. I might tutor today. Semi-busy day. I even cleaned the fridge and freezer. I have to go grocery shopping and buy more Merrique-friendly food. I can't keep eating with the family. Lost a spot of weight, which is exciting. I have to do some more exercises for today.
My love child of a book series is actually coming along. I'm at 282 pages for book two and I'm taking one final look at book one before I pass it along to my greatest critic. I must dazzle and awe him this time! In addition, I think I will collect my poems, edit them and release a book. If you have a list of my "bests" that touched you, please post it here. I have to finish more poems for a book. I need to find a job to pay for publishing. I'm waiting on a call for another interview.
Speaking of books, guess who's cranking out another goodie for us? Sandra Harvey! The lady who brought you a cat with a temper, dragons, an evil twin, a pancake burner, a cute spunky little brother and a girl trying to save the magic of a world she doesn't belong to now graces us with the next installment: The Secret World of Magic.
A preview was included in TSWoD for our enjoyment. Now, I love her book. Not just because she's a pal. It's because it's a good book. It had so much promise as a draft and she's come very far as a writer. She works hard and it shows in her pieces. Therefore, I'll be buying the second book as well. I'm working on some sketches for TSWoD. I have to fix the scanner, but no big. I can't wait to draw Mirth. He was always my favorite. He's not black and white. He's different. Yes, I know he's the bad guy. Nevertheless, the idea of someone looking at his reflection and saying, "It's your fault" to the twin who betrayed him really gets me inside. Imagine that? Seeing the one person you're supposed to be closest to everyday in the mirror. To be reminded of that severed bond and the fact he tried to end you. Mirth is something else. I feel so bad for him. It's hard when family hurts each other. It should never happen. When it does, it's just unforgivable. I could never understand what makes a man lay hands on his own blood to hurt them. To twist people into doing their dirty work for them. I could never imagine the fire behind the wish to stop someone with all your heart before. Before, I could never imagine it. I had never felt it before. Perhaps, that's why I like Mirth so much. Family can still be important to you and you can have those feelings inside you. You can't understand that paradox unless you've been there.
But he's still the bad guy. He is cute though. Such a shame, the cute ones are always warlords.
M out!
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The Stench of Humanity
3 min read
It's everywhere, dammit.
Good Idea: Meeting that Englishman at the bar.
Bad Idea: I can't think of one yet. YET.
I went to the bar with my sister. It was fun. But, unfortunately, I was much too drunk to find that nasty rum unnoticeable in my drinks. Moreover, I was far too sober to enjoy the company of the barflies while that social butterfly of mine fluttered about the room. I did manage to get us home in a timely fashion. My only regret is my realization that I will never be the proper amount of drunk to actually enjoy the company the bar offers. I am either to drunk for "this shit" or far too sober for "that shit".
I hate rum. I thank the mighty Goth in me that I am spared from the horror of hangovers. I've never had one—knock on wood—and I sincerely hope to never ever experience one. Yesterday I should have just fasted and had some meat and veg, but, nope, I decided to have a fun time getting plastered. However, I didn't drink too much. I could have. My limit is six drinks straight gin. It's my preferred drink after the greatest vodka in the world "Chopin" distilled and made in Poland. It goes for about 80 to 130+ a bottle. They aren't very big, but the smoothness and the wonderful elixir of joy that it is makes it worth it.
I met a real-life Englishman. His Englishness rates a 3-4 out of 10 (10 being 'most English') which makes him a perfect subject to observe. I've been meeting too many English Matthews. I have horrible luck with Matthews. However, this fellow is not a Matthew. Therefore, he is safe to approach. He said he would be happy to help me with my (and Sand's sorta) development of a certain character. He actually said "Yes" to such an inane question. I'm quite pleased. I don't think Q & A is the way to go. It would be better to observe him.
Onto my diet, I've dipped below 167, but because it's ideologically sensitive for a certain pal who does read these, I'll decline to state an actual number out of respect. But the rest ya'll, Congratulate me! Hopefully, all of you are doing well!
P.S. If you read Sandra's book, you will understand this:
Mirth: I may be the evil twin, but I will always be hotter than you.
Matt: We look the same!
Mirth: But I have that devil-may-care charm, a rugged personality, awesome hair, a sexy gruff voice and I'm actually pretty funny too.
Matt: Well, I can do something you can't.
Mirth: Like what? What could be so fantastic my lame-ass brother?
Matt: I can make pancakes.
I still think Mirth is much more sexy.
Good Idea: Meeting that Englishman at the bar.
Bad Idea: I can't think of one yet. YET.
I went to the bar with my sister. It was fun. But, unfortunately, I was much too drunk to find that nasty rum unnoticeable in my drinks. Moreover, I was far too sober to enjoy the company of the barflies while that social butterfly of mine fluttered about the room. I did manage to get us home in a timely fashion. My only regret is my realization that I will never be the proper amount of drunk to actually enjoy the company the bar offers. I am either to drunk for "this shit" or far too sober for "that shit".
I hate rum. I thank the mighty Goth in me that I am spared from the horror of hangovers. I've never had one—knock on wood—and I sincerely hope to never ever experience one. Yesterday I should have just fasted and had some meat and veg, but, nope, I decided to have a fun time getting plastered. However, I didn't drink too much. I could have. My limit is six drinks straight gin. It's my preferred drink after the greatest vodka in the world "Chopin" distilled and made in Poland. It goes for about 80 to 130+ a bottle. They aren't very big, but the smoothness and the wonderful elixir of joy that it is makes it worth it.
I met a real-life Englishman. His Englishness rates a 3-4 out of 10 (10 being 'most English') which makes him a perfect subject to observe. I've been meeting too many English Matthews. I have horrible luck with Matthews. However, this fellow is not a Matthew. Therefore, he is safe to approach. He said he would be happy to help me with my (and Sand's sorta) development of a certain character. He actually said "Yes" to such an inane question. I'm quite pleased. I don't think Q & A is the way to go. It would be better to observe him.
Onto my diet, I've dipped below 167, but because it's ideologically sensitive for a certain pal who does read these, I'll decline to state an actual number out of respect. But the rest ya'll, Congratulate me! Hopefully, all of you are doing well!
P.S. If you read Sandra's book, you will understand this:
Mirth: I may be the evil twin, but I will always be hotter than you.
Matt: We look the same!
Mirth: But I have that devil-may-care charm, a rugged personality, awesome hair, a sexy gruff voice and I'm actually pretty funny too.
Matt: Well, I can do something you can't.
Mirth: Like what? What could be so fantastic my lame-ass brother?
Matt: I can make pancakes.
I still think Mirth is much more sexy.
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(to the tune of "Living la Vida Loca" {and techinically it's a cheap mp3 player that I happen to love and could afford} )
Good Idea: Hanging up your copy of "Wheatfield with Crows"
Bad Idea: Using Mjölnir to do it.
Hello, everyone. It's been over a week now. I'm still job searching. I'm still getting unpleasant job offers. If you read the other journals, you know what I mean. I'm reading Sandra's book. It's actually pretty interesting. I was one of the chosen few to read a portion of it several years ago, I even have some scans of her old character sketches. I sincerly want to draw everyone from the book! "The Secret World of Dragons" really is rocking my socks. I have been pimping this book like crazy here in LA, so hopefully she gets a boost in sales.
It's still available on Amazon. I bought the pre-sale of the Kindle version and have the paperback here with me on my new bed. Which is just the couch from the living room moved here to my new room. I'm still working on getting this place in order. I told someone about my nightmares and he said it was the Rake. I did some reading and that did leave me pretty terrified. But fear not! For I have fought him several times and lived to morning!
I believed it was just my subconscious of course. An overactive Id. But what I described to him was pretty much the Rake. I do feel spooked.
But back to Sandra's book. I was too busy changing the voice of "Project Yellowstone" to become one voice. I don't want Sandra's voice to be entirely lost since it was our creative lovechild. But it can't sound like two authors. It's unprofessional. And it has to sound like the author of book two: me. I just can't let this story go. As D knows, it's pretty much swallowed my creative life. And left me pouring my all into it. I am so proud of what it's become. I feel even more proud after I look at it's original final draft then to what it has become by my own hand. I can't delete the original. Sandra and I made that. It's still very important to me. I don't get to talk to her like I used to, but she's important to me too. So, buy her book! Read Sandra Harvey's "The Secret World of Dragons" and look forward to the sequel. I'm going to make fan art, scan it and upload it to here. I just have to be careful about what I do, since I know things prior thanks to our relationship. It doesn't change how much I enjoy the book. So read it! Enjoy it! Join me and sing Sandra's accolades! She's an amazing writer and has come a far cry from her story "The Monster's Weakness."
If anyone has a copy of that, I'd like one. I wish I had printed out all her work instead of thinking it would always be there. I loved her poem. The one with the stage an the imagery. Like a moving watercolor painting.
Onto my lifestyle change, I've only lost one pound in the last week. So I'm down to 170.6. I'm not disappointed. I kept my expectations and hopes low. I just wanted to lose more. Eating all those carbs is hard. I tried to get them in all at once and made myself sick. So, my body has changed for the better. No more junk. It wasn't good for me anyway.
Well, I'll catch ya'll next week. I haven't worked on the poems in a week. I've been too busy with Project Yellowstone: Book Two. Subtitle Unknown.
Good Idea: Hanging up your copy of "Wheatfield with Crows"
Bad Idea: Using Mjölnir to do it.
Hello, everyone. It's been over a week now. I'm still job searching. I'm still getting unpleasant job offers. If you read the other journals, you know what I mean. I'm reading Sandra's book. It's actually pretty interesting. I was one of the chosen few to read a portion of it several years ago, I even have some scans of her old character sketches. I sincerly want to draw everyone from the book! "The Secret World of Dragons" really is rocking my socks. I have been pimping this book like crazy here in LA, so hopefully she gets a boost in sales.
It's still available on Amazon. I bought the pre-sale of the Kindle version and have the paperback here with me on my new bed. Which is just the couch from the living room moved here to my new room. I'm still working on getting this place in order. I told someone about my nightmares and he said it was the Rake. I did some reading and that did leave me pretty terrified. But fear not! For I have fought him several times and lived to morning!
I believed it was just my subconscious of course. An overactive Id. But what I described to him was pretty much the Rake. I do feel spooked.
But back to Sandra's book. I was too busy changing the voice of "Project Yellowstone" to become one voice. I don't want Sandra's voice to be entirely lost since it was our creative lovechild. But it can't sound like two authors. It's unprofessional. And it has to sound like the author of book two: me. I just can't let this story go. As D knows, it's pretty much swallowed my creative life. And left me pouring my all into it. I am so proud of what it's become. I feel even more proud after I look at it's original final draft then to what it has become by my own hand. I can't delete the original. Sandra and I made that. It's still very important to me. I don't get to talk to her like I used to, but she's important to me too. So, buy her book! Read Sandra Harvey's "The Secret World of Dragons" and look forward to the sequel. I'm going to make fan art, scan it and upload it to here. I just have to be careful about what I do, since I know things prior thanks to our relationship. It doesn't change how much I enjoy the book. So read it! Enjoy it! Join me and sing Sandra's accolades! She's an amazing writer and has come a far cry from her story "The Monster's Weakness."
If anyone has a copy of that, I'd like one. I wish I had printed out all her work instead of thinking it would always be there. I loved her poem. The one with the stage an the imagery. Like a moving watercolor painting.
Onto my lifestyle change, I've only lost one pound in the last week. So I'm down to 170.6. I'm not disappointed. I kept my expectations and hopes low. I just wanted to lose more. Eating all those carbs is hard. I tried to get them in all at once and made myself sick. So, my body has changed for the better. No more junk. It wasn't good for me anyway.
Well, I'll catch ya'll next week. I haven't worked on the poems in a week. I've been too busy with Project Yellowstone: Book Two. Subtitle Unknown.
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